4 Crucial Mental Health Habits for Preteens

Working towards the creation of healthy habits for our kids can be grueling!  Once we get to the preteen ages of 10-12, it’s even harder!  We get tired of repeating ourselves, so we give up.

Let’s make the process easier by making our kids in charge of developing their own habits! And let’s focus on the most important habits first.

Mental health and self-care habits for preteens, in my opinion, are the most critical to develop for an easier transition into those intense emotional years of the teenager.

The mind and body have a strong connection so taking care of mental health will positively affect physical health as well. When your preteen has developed a positive mindset and is emotionally balanced, physical care naturally falls into place.

I know what you are thinking…..How am I supposed to make my kid do this?

The key is to do it along with your child!  All of you are accountable to yourselves and each other. 

At the end of this article, you will find a button that will take you to a handy habit tracker for you and your child to check off each day.  This will help your children see how easy it can be to start a habit by repeating it each day. When they check off the completion of the activity each day it will motivate them (and you) to keep going.

Let’s get to it!  Here are my top 4 mental health habits to develop for preteens (and teens as well.)

1.        Positive Self-Talk

This is a BIG part of my coaching with kids. Teaching kids to recognize when they are thinking negatively about their abilities or physical attributes and then swapping the negative thought for a positive thought is one of the most important habits for mental health.  The continuous actions of transforming negative self-talk to positive self-talk creates a growth mindset and a more positive and happy way of living. During the preteen years, kids will start comparing themselves to others. This comparison leads them to think negatively about who they are.  They might also have experiences of classmates making fun of them or taunting them in some way, which can lead to low self-worth, depression, and anxiety. In my classes and private coaching sessions, I teach my students to SPOT the negative thought, STOP the thought, and SWAP the thought for a more positive statement. They must make this a habit.  They can’t just do this once and expect their thought to transform.  Just like any habit, it takes repetition.  Writing down the negative thoughts that they know they have and writing new replacement thoughts is a good start.  Then, when they catch themselves thinking the negative, they already have their positive replacement ready.  A great activity to help inspire positive self-talk is mirror talk.  Encourage your preteen to look in the mirror and say nice things to himself/herself. This can easily become a habit when adding it to toothbrushing at night or in the morning.  They may feel silly at first, which may detour them.  (If you have a preteen, you have noticed how they start resisting being silly.) Anything new can feel silly at first.  Try it with them and feel silly together and then you will notice how good it makes you feel when you smile at yourself!

2.       Gratitude

The research, and experiences of many people outside of experiments, prove that practicing gratitude daily leads to a happier life.  Practicing gratitude can look like writing a thank you note, journaling, and/or doing a guided gratitude meditation.  The important thing is FEELING grateful while you are writing, meditating, reflecting, etc. Tell your children how grateful you are for the little things they have done and encourage them to express gratitude towards a friend or family member. When we encourage our kids to add a habit of gratitude into their daily lives, the aspects of their lives that bothered them seem to fade away.  We attract what we focus on. Focus on the GOOD!

3.       Nature

Have you ever experienced 4-wall anxiety?  Being inside all day can increase anxiety levels.   If I haven’t been outside with the trees, sun, and birds all day, I start feeling a little crazy. I get my daughter outside with me.  We sit outside and draw or take a walk to the park.  The sun and the trees have an instant mood-boosting ability. One meditation I love to do, which I learned from studying Qigong, is sitting in front of a tree and imagining exchanging energy with the tree.  The tree sends me energy through its roots, and I send my energy to the tree from the top of my head to the top of the tree.  I imagine a loop of energy exchange, and I add the feeling of gratitude to the tree.  This would be a great activity to try with your kids. It teaches them gratitude for nature, relaxation, and the power of imagination.

 4.       Sleep

You know how you can feel if you have a few days with hardly any sleep.  Kids seem to handle it better, but it’s more important for our kids to get a healthy amount of sleep while their brains are being constructed and growth hormones are being released.  Lack of sleep can lead to poor focus abilities, anxiety, depression, and low immunity. You don’t want to deal with a hormonal preteen without sleep!   

Talk to your children about new habits before bedtime that will help them sleep better.  Some ideas for healthy bedtime habits are:  off the device 1 hour before designated bedtime, read a book for 15 minutes once in bed, write in a journal about what is on your mind to decrease mind chatter, listen to a guided sleep meditation, take a warm bath, and/or listen to soothing music.  Everyone is different in what works to help them relax.  Help your child find what works best.

 There are many more healthy habits to inspire in your preteens!  Start with the most important for life-long benefits.  The best action you can take to encourage your children to create healthy habits is to show them that you are creating these habits for yourself.  You are your kids’ biggest role model.  Be the change you want to see in your kids!

I have created a simple habit tracker for you to do with your kids.  Choose 2 habits you want to create for yourself this week.  Encourage your kids to do the same.  Check off each day when the activity was successfully achieved.  Remember- it’s all about repeat! repeat! repeat!

Click below to download Healthy Habit Tracker!